Month: February 2009
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Lighten Up, Nudnik!
I’m glad I’m a Jew – and I’m a pretty shitty one. I haven’t been bar mitzvah’d, I eat shrimp rings in two seconds flat, hell, I don’t even believe in God. Thanks to the wonderful world of the Torah, though, my one Jewish grandparent is my pass into the chosen people.
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A Modest Proposal
It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads and cabbin-doors crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, all in rags, and importuning every passenger for an alms. These mothers instead of…
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Beauty and the Beast
A careless inventor lived nearby, Whose little wife in childbirth did die. They had used his invention As a form of prevention, Now he held a Beauty that did cry. His inventions threatened her safety; When she was grown the daughter did flee.
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Dear Weird Al…
Dear Weird Al, I want to thank you. Words will never fully express my gratitude for the things that you do and the songs that you sing. I grew up on a farm in the country, and this reality was so perfectly echoed in your song “Amish Paradise.”
