Welcome Home
I love Waterloo in September. Old friends reunite; lovers embrace after 4 months apart, and new students eye each other nervously. Everywhere you look, 18 year olds are trying to look as cool as they possibly can with their parents trailing behind them.
Sharing Cookies With The Enemy
When boarding planes destined for some far away place, perhaps your own personal Shangri-La where monks and children spend their days talking to God and playing with monkeys, pack light. Learn how to say “water”, “please”, and “thank you” in the native language. Apologise profusely. And listen. Listen with all your heart, and give your [...]
Selling Out Against Bush
On my hungover ride up the shuffling parking lot that is the 400, I noticed a carload of punks in their lowered Honda Civic undoubtedly heading to the Vans Warped Tour. Their mohawks and steel bracelets screamed “I’m hardcore” and their sleek Honda’s exhaust pipe shuddered and coughed just inches below a bumper sticker that [...]
2004: The Year of the Cyborg
I did a little math last night and found out that I’ll be graduating from university in the year 2009. What a distant futuristic number that is, the kind of date you would see on a captain’s log in a ship journeying through the vast expanse of space on a cargo run. Surely I will [...]
Moral Issues at University
Sometimes, on rare nights when hazy clouds obstruct a thick autumn moon and the corpses of leaves skitter across Wilfrid Laurier’s well-trodden pathways, you can witness a fascinating primeval struggle, if you know where to look. Watch the masses, swallowed sober and regurgitated drunk, spill out across University Avenue after last call. Watch the patios [...]
I Always Try to Make You Happy
“Would you like your receipt in the bag?” The phrase is almost as monotonous and repetitive as the one threatened by elementary school teachers to under performing students: “Would you like fries with that?” Why, then is a job in retail considered superior to one in fast food services—a position I myself have never dared [...]
Lesbian Chic…Let’s
There is a movie called Bound. It concerns a lesbian couple who connive to steal a whole load of money the mob. Great movie. It was pumped full of lesbian “chic” and action; suspense with witty dialogue, and yes! The lesbians were hot! This left me felling a little odd, not that the hot sensation [...]
Songs of Self-Destruction
I think it’s safe to say that a sizable amount of North American culture flows into our hungry brains through the music industry. Duh, music’s always been a vessel for culture. It’s always been near the top (if not at the top) of the list of human arts and endeavours. And thanks to the frighteningly [...]
Vegetarians Make a Difference
Here’s a little food for thought: those nuggets and chicken strips that have found a final resting place in your freezer are more dangerous than you think. Ninety percent of all chicken flesh sold to consumers is splattered with salmonella and other harmful bacteria, leaving 500 people a year dead of salmonella “flu”. You wonder, [...]
Top 5 Cheap Places to Eat on Campus
1. Harvey’s Value menu It may not be easy to find on the menu, but it’s probably the most food you’ll get for the least amount of cash. A value burger + value fries/onion rings/or a salad and a value drink for less than $4 total! The biggest perk about this one is the salad, [...]
Jeans Fit For A Spice Girl
Shopping for new jeans with my mom last night was positively traumatic. There I am in Jean Machine trying on EVERY pair of jeans in the entire store to the politely hostile employee. I kept asking if she had something more comfortable, something that didn’t look like it was painted-on, something that wouldn’t expose my [...]
Bashing the Bush Bashers
Okay, so it has been established that George W. Bush is a terrible president. He was elected under suspicious circumstances, has waged a war against the environment, led America into a fruitless war with Iraq simply to propel his own oil interests and move the Industrial/Military Complex forward. That being said, get over it! Last [...]
This has nothing to do with my gas
He is sitting in the school computer room. It’s dark and dreary even though the lights are shining brightly. Different topics to write about collect in clumps while he tries to focus his thoughts. This always happens.—That was his first thought, but then he scrambles and recovers: everybody has difficulties put- ting their ideas into [...]
Terminal Philosophy
I can’t get enough of airports. Maybe it’s because I’m from a small town or maybe it’s because I like riding the moving sidewalks, but for me, airports have a certain allure, a mystique that really appeals. Once you’ve checked your luggage, said goodbye to mom and dad and made it through security, you’ve really [...]
Think Of This As A Corporate Merger
Think of this as a corporate merger. It’ll be easier on both of us. I am the well-known, reliable small town independent business; you are the multinational with stock in every company, and with operations in every country in the world. The hungry conglomerate who sees my humble establishment as prospects on which to capitalize. [...]
Where Do Electrical Parts Go When They Die?
Just like human beings, once certain parts of us lose their lustre or vibrancy, something has gone wrong and that part is left behind. Here, a funeral is symbolically portrayed. The living yellow-headed electrical parts are finally leaving the cemetary after committing their once loved but now-blackened comrades to the earth. Electrical Parts and Earth, who would have thought the two could ever be linked? Technology and Naturality, together at last.
The “W” Stands for “Wisdom”
George W. Bush offers some sage advice.
